


Soul Sanvers

by SupercorpSanvers_fangirl33



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Falling In Love, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Sanvers - Freeform, Sanvers Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 09:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12105696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupercorpSanvers_fangirl33/pseuds/SupercorpSanvers_fangirl33
Summary: Alex knew from the first time she met Maggie that the dark haired detective was her soulmate but she never imagined the events that would throw them together and tear them apart just to bring them back.WARNING!! TRIGGER WARNING FOR REFRANCE TO SELF HARM!! IF YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH IT PLEASE TURN AWAY NOW!





	Soul Sanvers

Alex knew from the first moment they met that NCPD detective Maggie Sawyer was her soulmate. She knew as soon as the small mocha skinned woman stepped onto her crime scene and flashed her badge along with a glimpse at her wrist where words were written in handwriting she'd know anywhere because she saw it every time she wrote something. But in true Alex fashion she wasn't willing to believe it, or maybe she was waiting for Maggie to realize it, so she threw up her walls to try and keep this dark haired beauty out and away from hurting her like so many before.

After a few months of working together and becoming friends Alex was letting her walls fall without even knowing it. It wasn't until Maggie made the comment that she really realized she was starting to fall for her new best friend. She still hadn't shown the detective her own wrist but it wouldn't do much good it seemed Maggie didn't write much on herself so she denied it, ignoring the ache inside at doing so and trying to keep her eyes off the back of Maggie’s hand where a note to pick up milk and bread sat written that morning.

Seeing Maggie be kissed by someone else made Alex want to put her fist through a wall, she wanted to growl and tell the blonde to go away because there was no way she was Maggie’s soulmate! But she didn't she kept to herself and tried to hide her hurt as best she could. That night as she sat on her couch in a tank top and sleep shorts a sudden tingle flitted over her wrist making her look down. Weaving its way around the skin of her wrist and arm were intercut little swirls and stars followed by words Alex realized were from a song. She smiled slightly setting her beer down as she ran her fingers over the words.

‘ _Heart beats fast, colors and promises how to be brave._ ’

Alex’s smile stayed in place as she grabbed a pen and quickly, but neatly, drew her own pattern of little stars and a few hearts before continuing the song.

‘ _How can I live when I'm afraid to fall? watching you stand alone, all of my doubts suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer._ ’

Once she was done she sat back tucking her knees to her chest watching her arm to see what Maggie would do. The smile that stretched across her lips was instant as the warm tingle came back and a beautiful row of flowers and swirls appeared followed by the next lines.

‘ _I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't you be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more._ ’

Alex felt herself smile somehow more as she watched the words go on a little more before she filled in again. By the time she'd fallen asleep her left arm and part of her left wrist were full of first song lyrics then talking. Alex had fallen asleep before answering Maggie’s last note but she wouldn't see until morning that Maggie hadn't minded she'd just left a soft ‘ _Good night la mia anima._ ’ surrounded by stars and moons with one heart under it.

Finally Alex got up the nerve to confess to Maggie how she felt, the nudge from Kara didn't hurt either. And so Alex found herself in the alien bar standing in front to Maggie holding her cheeks softly as their lips pressed together. When they broke apart, when Maggie pulled away, Alex felt a squirming in her chest and knew something was wrong. Maggie looked at her with sad eyes and told Alex they couldn't be together not when Alex was so new to being gay. She'd used the excuse of wanting her to have a full life and really experience love before diving in head first. Alex was at a loss, it took all her willpower to keep her tears in and yank her sleeve up revealing the song lyrics and conversation from the night before, ones that mirrored themselves on Maggie's skin.

She seen something flash in Maggie’s eyes but she didn't take the time to register it as she turned around and ran as fast as she could before Maggie could see her cry. Logically she knew taking her bike would be faster but emotionally all she could bring herself to do was run through the now pouring rain. She ran until she reached the park at the city’s heart and finally slid to the damp ground against its trunk. With a shaking hand she pulled something from her jacket pocket before yanking her sleeve up roughly.

Maggie felt like the worst person in the world as she sat at the bar nursing a glass of scotch then she felt it. A tingle much warmer than normal on her arm. Pulling her sleeve out of the way Maggie’s eyes widened and her heart sank as harsh red marker slashes kept appearing along her inner arm but as she watched they got darker and heavier, to the point she was almost positive if she pressed her fingertips to the slashes they'd come away wet with ink. Jumping up from her place she ran from the bar ignoring the rain as she headed for Alex’s apartment.

When she reached the door she knocked at least a dozen times in ten seconds gasping for air but she got no answer.

“Alex! If you're in there open the door! Please!”

It was impossible to keep the desperation out of her voice as she felt the heat in her arm continue but it was growing shaky, straight lined slashes turned into first wobbly lines then dots dark and harsh. Tears blurred Maggie's sight as she tried knocking one last time. She felt her heart still as the marks stopped and the door started to open making her look up tears streaming her cheeks. But when the door opened she wasn't met with Alex but rather a very angry Supergirl who quickly pinned her to the wall by her throat.

“What did you do to my sister?! Where is she?!”

Maggie clawed uselessly at the steel hand around her throat tears still spilling down her cheeks.

“I-I don't know where she is! I was trying to find her! I screwed up Kara! I screwed it all up! I didn't know it was her! I didn't know until it was too late she was my soulmate!”

Kara growled leering at Maggie as hard as she could manage without burning a hole through her with heat vision.

“What did you do?”

Maggie stopped clawing at Kara’s hand and instead let her arms fall to her sides as she looked brokenly into Kara’s eyes.

“I fucked up! I rejected her because I didn't know it was her I fell in love with through the little notes on my arms or the harsh words on my thighs. I didn't know it was her I was consoling when I was 19 that she wasn't useless or stupid or anything less than perfect. I swear I didn't know….I didn't know.”

Maggie finally broke down into sobs and Kara felt her heart break finally believing Maggie really hadn't known. She let the detective out of the death hold and pulled her instead into a hug just tight enough to not be painful but temporarily squeeze the broken pieces together.

“We’ll find her. I'll help you, you check anywhere she might go I'll fly over the city.”

Maggie sniffled nodding against Kara’s shoulder, after one last squeeze Kara flew off leaving Maggie to gather herself for a moment then take off running back outside. The rain was letting up a little so it made running around the city easier, once in awhile she'd catch a glimpse of a red and blue blur above her against the grey clouds but she didn't let it distract her. After checking the DEO and a couple other placing Maggie found herself at the park. It was her last chance, she knew that Alex came to the park to run when she needed to be alone and Maggie hoped that's where she'd be.

After following the jogging path for a few minutes she finally seen Alex sitting under a large oak, soaking wet, her knees pulled to her chest and her head resting against them, there was an uncapped red sharpie laying on the ground with its point pushed in so far it wouldn't work anymore. Maggie let out a breath she'd been holding since Kara opened the door to Alex’s apartment and ran to the brunette. As soon as she was close she dropped to her knees placing shaky hands on Alex making the agent jump and meet the detective’s tear filled chocolate brown eyes. Maggie didn't give the other woman time to react she just pulled her close and refused to let go even as Alex sobbed and tried to push her away.

After several minutes Alex finally stopped fighting and started clinging to Maggie burying her face in the other woman’s neck. Maggie held her tight holding the pieces she'd shattered together.

“I'm so sorry Alex, I had no idea honest I didn't. You kept your wrists hidden from me so I couldn't see so I thought...I didn't know it was you and I'm so sorry.”

Alex sniffled but still clung to Maggie shaking her head.

“N-no I'm sorry. I knew it was you, I-I knew it was you from the first time we met and I saw my handwriting on your wrist as you reached for your badge but I kept it pushed to the side. I kept you at arm's length even though I knew, I kept you pushed away because I was scared, t-terrified, of getting hurt again of being made to feel horrible again. I couldn't stand it if you hurt me that way but I made you by being so stupid!”

Maggie pulled away from the hold enough to make Alex look at her as she cupped her face in her hands.

“Don't. Don't say that Alex Danvers. You are not stupid! You are by far one of the most beautiful, loving, bad-ass, smart and amazing women I have ever met! I knew before I even met you that you were an amazing person and every time I'd see a note about anything from quantum equations to shopping lists I fell more and more in love. When it was those hurtful word drawn over my skin my heart ached to hold you and tell you that they weren't true. Alex you are not stupid for wanting to protect yourself, to keep yourself from getting hurt. You are brave and smart and amazing and….and I...I-I love you so much.”

Alex’s mahogany eyes widened hearing Maggie's words and for a long moment she was unable to do anything but stare but finally she gained control of her body and surged forward her lips colliding with Maggie’s. Maggie was frozen for a heartbeat before she wrapped her arms around Alex and returned the kiss pouring all her love into it and feeling Alex do the same. That's how Kara found them, sitting under the tree as the rain finally stopped holding each other for support tears still in their eyes and smiles on their lips.

Later after Kara had taken them to Alex’s apartment Maggie sat in a steaming bubble bath with Alex’s back to her chest gently scrubbing at the red marker lines washing them away. As they faded though she noticed scars, faded and barely there but they were scars all along her lily white forearm in no real order. Maggie knew what they were, what they meant, she had a few herself on her sides and upper thighs so rather than question Alex about them she just continued washing away the marker then gently ran her fingers over each one softly kissing Alex’s head.

Alex looked down at where Maggie's fingers were tracing one of the scars and took a shuddery breath.

“That one was from my freshman year of high school, me and my friend Vicki had a sleepover and got into this huge fight about something so stupid I can't even remember what it was and we had a really bad falling out because of it. I was so sad and heartbroken before I knew it I had three cuts from a shaving razor.”

Maggie’s arm tightened around the agent before taking her hand and guiding it to her left side where a faint raised scar sat between her ribs.

“I was 14, I had just kissed the girl I'd been crushing on for years, she pushed me away and called me a freak and to never talk to her again. I locked myself in the school bathroom and used a broken pencil.”

Maggie felt Alex flinch before she shifted turning in the tub so she was facing Maggie her eyes sad but understanding, she wasn't the only one that had been hurt before and maybe that's why Maggie had forgiven her for trying to protect herself from heartbreak. Maggie gently tucked a strand of hair behind Alex’s ear with a soft smile that widened a little when Alex gently grabbed her wrist and turned her head to kiss her palm. Slowly Maggie took her hand back guiding Alex closer until their lips met in a soft kiss which Alex happily responded to as Maggie's arms held her close.

“I'll never hurt you the way they did, and I'll make sure no one else ever hurts you.”

Alex opened her eyes at the words searching the detective’s brown eyes for any sign of exaggeration but all she found was love, understanding, and promise. Alex nodded with a small smile as she nuzzled the space between Maggie's neck and shoulder.

“Same here, I won't hurt you that way, and if anyone tries to hurt you I'll make sure they disappear.”

Maggie couldn't help but chuckle a little at that as she held Alex close closing her eyes.

“I love you Danvers.”

She felt Alex smile against her neck and it sent a warm feeling to her stomach.

“I love you too Sawyer.”

They stayed like that in the tub until the water got cold then they got out, dried off and dressed before going to Alex’s bed and cuddling together under the covers happy and content as they fell asleep the world outside forgotten for now so it was only them.

Alex smiled to herself now as she remembered it all but her attention was pulled away by a knock on the door of her childhood bedroom. She turned her eyes to see who it was and her smile widened a little as Kara stepped into the room wearing a breathtaking marine blue dress that reached the floor, her golden hair was in loose curls flowing over her shoulders, her glasses were gone no longer needed, and her silver wedding band with a single diamond gleamed softly as her hand rested on her 7 months pregnant belly.

“It's time, are you ready?”

Alex nodded walking over to her sister gladly accepting her hug before taking a step back and taking a deep breath.

“I've been ready from the second I met her.”

Kara smiled leading her sister out of the room and to where Lena was waiting with J’onn, who Alex had to admit looked sharp dressed in his fancy tux. Kara went to her wife and kissed her cheek earning a smile from the silver dressed woman before they headed down stairs as the music started and they could hear people taking their seats outside. Alex took a deep breath before going to J’onn smiling when he squeezed her hand then led her down stairs.

“Nervous?”

Alex couldn't stop smiling as she held a bouquet of white lillies, daisies, white roses and some lilacs in her free hand while her other tightened in her space father’s arm.

“Not at all, she wouldn't leave me standing at the altar, not when she was the one who asked.”

J’onn chuckled patting her hand. As the wedding march began to play Alex took a final deep breath and walked through the open French doors and down the aisle with J’onn being the only thing keeping her from running into Maggie’s arms as her mocha skinned detective stood at the altar wearing a white tux looking like she was seeing an angel or goddess. Finally the march was done and J’onn placed her hand in Maggie's before going to take his seat beside Eliza. The only members of Maggie’s family in attendance were her aunt Maria, her cousin Molly, and her cousin’s three daughters Luna, Eve, and Kristine. But that was more than Maggie had expected so she was over the moon to see the only family that had still loved her after she came out.

Alex smiled so bright Maggie swore the sun looked dull and her heart stuttered with the need to kiss her soon to be wife until her knees were jelly. The priest smiled at the pair before giving a nod making Maggie raise a brow at the action but Alex just gave her a reassuring look before a song started to play softly in the background. It took a moment before the detective recognized it as ‘A Thousand Years’ by Christina Perri, the same song she and Alex had been quoting on their arms the night before the fight that had brought them together. 

Tears filled Maggie's eyes as she squeezed Alex's hands making Alex chuckle softly tears shining in her own eyes. The ceremony went by without them looking away from each other and when they were allowed to kiss Maggie swept Alex into a dip and kissed her until they were both breathless. Alex smiled as she caught her breath the applause of their father family and friends along with playful wolf whistles from Winn and Maggie's cousins were all background noise as the brunette leaned up and kissed her wife back just as exuberantly.

After managing to pull apart and straighten up they walked down the aisle hand in hand followed by Lena and Kara then Eliza and J’onn. The reception was amazing, Kara had helped set up a tent while Lena and Eliza had decorated. Twinkle lights lit up most of the space as did hanging white lanterns, tables had silver and white table cloths with beautiful centerpieces, the cake was simple but elegant with its navy blue, yellow and mint blue frosting flowers, flowers in the same colors were scattered around in different places and Alex couldn't believe it all.

After cutting the cake, which turned out had been strawberry and chocolate their favorites, it was time for the couple’s first dance and Maggie guided Alex around the floor as if they'd choreographed the dance for weeks. When it was over Alex rested her forehead on Maggie's with the happiest smile in the world.

“I love you Maggie Sawyer-Danvers.”

Maggie smiled holding her wife close brushing their noses together.

“I love you too Alexandra Sawyer-Danvers, my _la mia anima_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun with languages!
> 
> la mia anima = My soul (Italian)


End file.
